POV DISCUSSION: One Warm Word Episode 10


First and foremost, I’ve mentioned that I will not do a recap of this episode, but more of a discussion recap. In simple terms, I would just briefly talk about some scenes in the drama, and focus more on the characters and analyse the characters and the direction the drama is moving towards.

I have a lot of love for this drama because it makes me think a lot, and all of the characters have depth to them which makes it interesting to watch.

I’m not sure how the drama will turn out in the end, whether the married couples would remain married or whether they will move on and live separately. I don’t mind either endings – because I think both ways will work, but I just don’t want Jae Hak and Eun Jin to be together. It just seems morally wrong for them to end up together. Well, that’s just my opinion. I’m not sure if Min Soo & Eun Young will end up together. I am hoping they will, but for them to marry, both Eun Jin and Mi Kyung have to be okay with it – and honestly, I don’t think Mi Kyung can ever forgive Eun Jin. She can choose to let go of the hatred, but forgiving is a different thing.

vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h00m32s184vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h00m51s115Let’s talk about Mi Kyung and Jae Hak first. I like Mi Kyung’s complex character, and I believe plenty of people are similar to her, but maybe not as extreme as she is.

The characters in the drama might hate her, her actions, her obsessiveness – but I think the person who hates her the most is actually herself. I think people are usually self-aware, and when we do things, we usually reflect on our own actions. Sometimes what we intend to do, and what we actually do is the complete opposite, and we can’t help it.

Mi Kyung loves Jae Hak – but what is it that she wants? She wants Jae Hak’s attention, concern & a sense of security that he loves her. She wants Jae Hak to know what she wants without her telling him, and this is a very common trait amongst women. This is why they always say understanding women is impossible. Jae Hak is constantly frustrated, because he doesn’t understand her fears or her insecurity.

Mi Kyung is irritated at Jae Hak, who doesn’t seem to be affected by the fact that she found out about his affair. To her, he seems indifferent and confident that she will not walk out from the relationship. He doesn’t seem to have the fear of her actually leaving him – which is kind of hurtful to any women. He sleeps well, and his work is not affected and he is calm and rational – she is annoyed at all these, because these very traits makes her feel small and insecure, as though she is not important to him.

Thus, even though she doesn’t want to disregard herself, she continues her mood swings and gets revenge with Jae Hak. However, in the process, she is actually destroying herself and it is more disadvantageous to her than him, because she knows well enough that she has become a scary person, doing all sorts of things and she hates herself for doing so. She hates the fact that she can’t let him go, she hates the fact that she can’t stop her love for him, she hates herself for clinging and staying with him despite being disgusted by his actions. It’s a complex emotion.

For her character itself, I wish she slowly learns to love herself and makes herself a priority and that even by herself, she can be happy. That even though she couldn’t have a perfect family, she could still be happy and happiness comes from within. No one can give her happiness, but herself. Before the affair, she had the ‘perfect’ family but she wasn’t necessarily happy.

It was more of security – the feeling that everything is complete and perfect. But she needs to know that there is no such thing as perfection. She may end up being divorced, but maybe she’ll find something she love and live her life happily and understand that imperfection is beauty.

Now let’s talk about Jae Hak. I find his character frustrating. Don’t misunderstand, I like the character, what I find frustrating is the character’s personality. Jae Hak is like some guys – really bad at understanding women. I don’t know what he thinks of love, or whether he even loves Mi Kyung. If he was warm towards Eun Jin, it can only mean that he didn’t love Mi Kyung at all. What is it that he feels towards Mi Kyung then? Affection? Respect? I think that is the most unclear answer right now – because I really don’t know what his character is feeling towards Mi Kyung.

vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h00m11s223vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h01m32s17vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h01m15s102vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h01m44s130vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h02m50s30vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h02m52s45vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h02m43s212Now, let’s talk about Eun Jin. Eun Jin is probably at her lowest, because everyone is judging her & she lost her friends. In simple terms, she’s in the process of losing everything. After an affair, we know that there is no one who is going to support you. By having an affair, you are hurting everyone else and no one can actually accept it. Not everyone will hate you, but even if they don’t hate you or curse you, they will never be able to accept the affair with a cool mind – because it is just morally wrong. Well, to me that is.

Eun Jin’s mom can’t understand the affair, but she can’t hate on her own child. As a woman herself, she cannot accept the affair and the excuses but as a mother, she cannot do nothing about her daughter. Yoon Jung is still a young kid, and she is still unaware of the fact. However, when she finds out, Eun Jin will probably lose Yoon Jung’s respect as well.

The pain and hurt any parent inflict on their children, doesn’t go by easily. I think no child would forget a pain inflicted by parents. It’s a scar for life – and we see both Mi Kyung and Min Soo who is the perfect example. They can choose to live a normal life, but that pain will somehow influence their lives or way of living in one way or another.

In Episode 9, Eun Jin mentioned that there is no manual on Na Eun Jin, and that there is no such thing as Na Eun Jin wouldn’t do such a thing. Most of the time, we wouldn’t know how we would be in the future, we can’t guarantee anything. Eun Jin probably never expected herself to have an affair, but things just happen. I’m not sure if Eun Jin really loved Jae Hak, but I hope it’s not love.

It’s understandable that she wavered (that doesn’t mean it’s okay), because she was probably feeling drained out from her marriage, and when Jae Hak appeared, it seems like she felt warm and she was happy. It might be because of Sung Soo’s lack of affection, which happens when you’re married for years and stop living like a couple. It might be a temporary affection, and I’m hoping it is.

vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h00m12s233vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h03m43s47vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h03m43s39vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h04m13s85vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h04m15s111As for Sung Soo, he’s battling with himself. His pride and his love for Eun Jin. He loves Eun Jin a lot, but he can’t ignore the affair and he still can’t forgive her. He wants to stay married with her, but he don’t know how to – because he can’t pretend it never happened and live happily, and he is not prepared to forgive her. He finds an excuse that he’s going to make them live in ‘hell’ together to get back at her – but he can’t do that either, because he’s wavering as he feels guilty as well since he had an affair too. He hates the fact that she betrayed him, but he loves her too much to hurt her. Eventually, he makes a decision to divorce her.

The problem with this couple is that they never recovered from Sung Soo’s affair. That first affair made a huge impact on their marriage, and they continued living together without addressing the issues properly. In addition, they slowly drifted apart like some married couples. That’s why we hear advises like you have to constantly communicate and shower love with your spouse, and ‘date’ with your spouse once in a while to keep the relationship and love alive. You need to put effort in anything to make it work, including relationships.

vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h02m05s91vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h02m11s143vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h02m22s5vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h03m31s178vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h03m25s120vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h03m28s146Min Soo and Eun Young are progressing well, and I really can’t prepare myself for the heartbreak waiting for them. Mi Kyung is fond of Eun Young, but once she finds out she is Eun Jin’s sister, she would not accept Eun Young easily. Min Soo will also not be able to accept Eun Young easily because he loves Mi Kyung a lot, and he hates it when she is hurt. He’s probably going to suffer between his love for Mi Kyung and Eun Young.

I think it might be possible for Mi Kyung to accept Eun Young, but only after Mi Kyung has really let her hatred go and moved on. I don’t think she can forgive Eun Jin, but I believe she can let go of her hatred and desire for revenge. She loves Min Soo a lot, and she likewise, wouldn’t want Min Soo to be hurt too.

I’m just a little afraid that this drama will go in a direction that makes Mi Kyung go over the edge and hate on Min Soo. I mean, if she becomes mentally unstable and remembers the fact that his mother caused her family to fall apart, she might hate on him. Please drama, don’t do that. I love their siblings love and support for each other. Let’s not go makjang.

vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h03m54s154vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h04m03s242vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h03m59s201vlcsnap-2014-01-11-13h04m02s229More importantly, a detective looks for Min Soo – and I’m wondering if they found out he’s behind the accident. We have to wait for Monday to find out~

Lastly, I’m not sure if the next episode will have a time jump, because from the preview, it looked like both married couples are trying to live together again. Sung Soo asked for a divorce in this episode, so the preview looked a little odd. We’ll find out on Monday~

7 thoughts on “POV DISCUSSION: One Warm Word Episode 10

  1. Somehow this drama seems to make viewers pity MK… I beg to differ.
    She is a victim no doubt, but she should have more self respect than to allow her MIL , and later JH to trample her all these years. She wanted to portray a perfect marriage, at her expense. A ‘slave’ to JH family… She even admitted in ep 9 that ‘ other than bearing children, she was literally living a life as a housekeeper..’..!!!! This is where most women, Asians especially, tend to take the path when they say ‘ I do’….. A life of subservient…!!!
    Attitudes here could have been moulded earlier on the marriage that respect for one another does not mean ‘ bullying’ one into submission….
    A task performed, cooking, bringing up children should be shared and enjoyed by the family…. bonding with each other is the seed to happiness.
    A man may wander in thoughts in a marriage, but a secured happy memorable ‘ home’ tend to deviate him back to his comfort zones.

    As I see it, MK created a sterile perfect environment, that cannot withstand a knock or a diversions from any member of a family…. This is not living… This suffocating values are just cracks waiting to break open…
    I do not condone JH infidelity, but to not even anticipate that it can happen in a marriage… Is to live in a Lala-land….!
    She should be more interesting, lovable, less robotic, sensual……and if he still sway away….. Then take a next best recourse…Leave Him… After all she is not going to be penniless….. So start a new life… Show him that she can live without him…..!! Mark my word, JH will run back to her…. He needs a knock on his head then he realized how indispensable MK is to him and family.
    I feel the marriage has reach the state where he has taken MK existence for granted….. like a well train poodle retrieving the sticks every time he throws it to catch…… Bite his hands and see if he shout in pain…..
    BTW that would relieve MK from that overbearing, evil Mother in Law.
    In fact just the thought of her, she should just pack her beg and let her fend for herself…. That ***#% creature….!

    My take on EJ is that she should just leave SS and start anew. A 6 year frigid behavior would definitely open doors for SS to stray…
    The marriage needs more that a forgiving husband, she needs counseling for her ‘ postpartum blues’…. Her mother should not bash her, really this Kdrama seems to show a very sadistic approach to problem solving… In any other society she can be taken for assault….. I for one would just disown a mother who dare touch me in my time of sorrow… Simply lack of compassion…. One call that Love….????!!!!

    • Hahahahahaha. Thanks for your opinions🙂

      I guess everyone has their own opinions and thoughts because we are all brought up differently, and experience different cultures.

      Rather than a sadist approach, I find it very realistic, because that is what is happening in some parts of the world to some people. It’s only right that a parent punishes a kid for their wrong doing. It’s like seeing your kid steal something, and not doing anything.

      Sometimes, our emotions get into the better of us, thus we resort to violence. If EJ was a kid, the mother is in the wrong for using such violence, but EJ is an adult and the mother did not really abuse her or anything. EJ took the beating because she thought she deserved it. The mother just hit her out of anger, and it didn’t physically injured EJ in any way.

      Everyone expresses their love and affection in a different way, thus there is no right or wrong way or a perfect definition of what love is – or how it should be expressed. It all depends on each individual.

      I agree with you about JH’s MIL though. She is just too overbearing and ungrateful.

      As for MK, I don’t pity her – or any other characters in the drama. It’s more of, I understand her as a character. It’s true that she shouldn’t have let them walk all over her – but that’s the point of her character.

      She grew up with a strong desire to have a perfect family because of her childhood, and in that process, she didn’t learn to love herself or think of herself.

      Thus through these experiences and problems, I believe the drama will make her character grow into someone who slowly learns to love herself and move on.

    • I absolutely agree with your view on MK, every word you said I feel they were coming out from my mouth🙂 Thank you!

      However, I have a total difference view about EJ. I absolutely against woman who has affair because she’s already given her heart away. I don’t think woman can easily has affair just because an impulse moment or a bodily need, but because she has real feeling to give away her heart to other man. Therefore, I can’t look into EJ’s case likely to think her husband should understand and forgive her, and everybody else shouldn’t judge her. The moment EJ decided to give her heart away to another man, she deserves a beating from her mother, a judging from other, a divorce from her husband and worst a disrespect from her kid. To make up for her wrongdoing, she has to work real hard to prove herself, she needs to get rid of all the lingering feelings she’s had for JH, she needs to crawl back to her husband and ask for forgiveness, she needs to strive to become a perfect wife and mother to gain back the love from her husband and kid

  2. I watched the drama because the writer seemed to imply that infidelity is not a male domain only. Both sexes under adverse situations will resort to an outlet… rightly or wrongly.. !. Society are the ones who condemned, through the whispers of neighbors and friends….in this drama.

    This again baffles me cos I strongly feel that as a third party, one should not be judgmental… Instead give them a listening ear and support their decisions.
    The mother not only bash her, she was verbal abusing too… Talk about rubbing salt to a wound….!!

    Had a neighbor who profess to us that she was a mistress, was more amused really than stunned… That explained the driver waiting outside for the Master … when he visited the mistress…!! We didn’t shun her, or mocked her….. just accept the situation….!

    Coming back to this drama, I cannot fathom as to EJ constant meet with MK knowing fully well that is enemy territory… Like putting your head in a lion’s cage..!!!!
    She walked around like a zombie…. Hey you were brazen enough to enter the ‘forbidden love’ arena… Just walk with head up high, and move on…. Even if it’s tearing you inside….!!!! Show your self worth… Damn the others….!!

    So do you feel this is going to be ‘ forgive and forget’ theme or where is the writer taking us……? Strangely I look forward to see each of them moving on with their respective life without their present spouses , and find happiness and fulfillment …. Against all odds and also against conventions…. Get out of the stiff society, seek one’s happiness on one’s terms and not be dictated by elders or culture….. Be a non-conformist …. !!!!!
    Betcha it is a wishful thinking… No not in Kdrama….he he he…

    • Hahaha! Yeah – I don’t get it why EJ keeps going back to MK as well. As for being supportive, not everyone can do that because if everyone is able to do that, then there would be no conflicts in the world.

      Yup, I’m thinking that the writer is doing a forgive and moving on kind of story – but I do think that the couples won’t stay together. I think that Mi Kyung and Jae Hak will go their separate ways.

      As for Eun Jin and Sung Soo, it might go either ways I guess. Personally, I want them to slowly repair their relationship, but I won’t mind if they move on with their individual lives as well. Maintaining and keeping a marriage takes a lot of effort, and I honestly think that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage.

      Choosing to forgive and forget is not necessarily a bad thing, because maybe to that particular individual, something else is of more importance like for example in this case, Yoon Jung.

      They might slowly mend their relationship to protect Yoon Jung as she is still young. To some people, it might be pathetic to stay in a marriage just for a child, but to others, they might think otherwise. To them, they might find find their kid of more importance and try again to work hard at the marriage.

      I guess it all depends on each individual, because ultimately we all make different choices for different reasons.

      Anyway, on a side note, personally for myself, I won’t let others decide my happiness, and I won’t let culture or society block my way. Haha. I love freedom, and tbh I don’t believe that I’ll be happy because I have a great partner with me. I’ve always believed that only me can bring my own happiness – and not because of someone. We all decide our own happiness, right?

      Anyway, it’s really nice talking to you🙂

  3. Thank You for the summary Lee Jin. I personally hope that EJ will end up with JH but with his mother in the equation. I dont think EJ will pass the test.

    The good thing about this drama is… it is realistic. We can relate to the characters’ emotion. I wonder how it will end.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s