My Stand on Baekhyun Dating

I don’t think any of you would be interested, but I needed a place to vent, so that’s why I’m posting this here. It was confirmed yesterday that Baekhyun and Taeyeon are dating.

My first reaction was to laugh, because I know what a huge fanboy Baekhyun was, and it’s just so funny to find out he’s actually dating his bias. I thought everything was alright, but I realized not everyone is taking it positively 😦

They’re starting to dig his past, posting nasty comments, accusing him of dropping love hints on instagram, or the whole thing being a conspiracy.

I’m just so sad that people are so shallow.


All they had was a dream.

In exchange for that dream, they gave up a lot of things.

Their freedom, Their Privacy, Their Space, Their Time.

What more do you want them to give up?

They train for hours, they miss classes at times, they don’t get to hang out with school friends as often, they can’t walk on the streets without being followed, they get camera shoved in their faces, they have random strangers locking hands with them, touching them, harassing them, but they are still expected to smile and let it go.

They wake up early, hardly have time for sleep, back-to-back schedules, tired, exhausted, yet they work hard and put on a smile, because of us – because we’re here, because they have to be there for us.

They’re being judged for every single second of their lives.

Isn’t it too selfish to put our own expectations and expecting them to live according to it?

You may be upset, I understand – but that does not give you any right to post nasty comments and hurt him that way. It’s morally wrong. You can choose not to give them your blessings, you can choose to leave, but don’t make excuses, to make it sound as though you are justified to harm him by your words.

You may argue that he’s a celebrity, thus he has to take all of this. Fame comes with a price. It’s true, but as fans, aren’t we supposed to make the burden lesser? When others point fingers at him, or the members, aren’t we supposed to embrace them more, telling them it’s okay, we understand?

They did not commit murder or some heinous crime, and I wouldn’t expect us to support them if they did those, but all he did was to date. And maybe he expressed his love on instagram. MAYBE.

You guys are only speculating that those instagram posts meant something else. It may or MAY NOT have been what you think. Stop trying to be all smart, and stop speculating. I can’t stop from people thinking what they want to think, but there is a possibility it might not be what fans think, and while there is that possibility, it’s wrong to deduce something and pass it off as a fact.

How frustrating must it be for them, if that wasn’t their intention, but everyone misunderstood it that way? It’s like someone who you trust don’t believe what you say and starts accusing you – it’s frustrating and depressing. You might argue, it’s obvious – but there is a tiny possibility it’s not, and you will never know because you’re not him, and you’re not God.

It can be pure habit, and because they’re dating, they might have adopt each others way of talking and habits and gestures.

And even if it’s true, and fans are saying that the instagrams are created for fans, and they feel betrayed and hurt that it had secret and hidden love quotes.

Can you guys just please listen to yourself? How ridiculous, obsessive and stupid it sounds?

They may have created those accounts, so that they can communicate with fans – it’s also a place where they can share with fans what’s going on with their lives. What is so wrong about posting about their love? And even if it’s a place for fans so that they can get to know what the idols are up to, it’s still THEIR ACCOUNT, so literally, they can post whatever they want.

And I’m not telling you to give them your blessings, I’m telling you not to hurt them with nasty comments. They don’t deserve that. You can choose to leave, You can feel betrayed and sad, but you still do not have rights to harm a person that way. You can post on your own accounts that you’re sad, felt what you did, but don’t go on their accounts shoving down your hate.

Can we just stop and look at things from their stand?

They’re still young, some of them our age, or younger than us – we are THE SAME. We want the same things, we have the same feelings, we have the same thinking. We make our own decisions, and we don’t want people to judge us. They make their own decisions, so we have no right to judge them too. Just stop looking from a fan’s view and stand in their shoes.

How difficult it is. How tiring it is.

Money? Fame? Can that buy you happiness? It can’t. Those things come along with their dream, and in exchange, they already gave up a huge part of life.

Why are we taking away the little bit of happiness they can find?

Why are we taking control over his decision, and his life?

Why are we judging him, when he is the one making us happy?

He doesn’t owe us a living. Fan gifts? Fan support? Those are YOUR decisions and choices. He is not obliged to do anything.

“Such a waste that I did all this for you.” – This is so hypocritical. Did he asked for it?! You gave it to him, voluntarily. Are you saying that because you did all of that, he needs to obey you? Are you exchanging your money, for his freedom of choices? It’s as good as saying, “Since you took my gifts, my money, you should do as I say.” Don’t you feel shameless?

They can’t reject fangifts, in fear of fans reaction. When they accept it, they carry the burden of fans expectations. When they give away a fan-gift, they get condemned. Why people why? DO YOU SERIOUSLY EXPECT HIM TO KEEP AND USE ALL THE FANGIFTS?!

Where is he going to keep it? Should he buy a house just to fill it with gifts which he never gets to use but can’t give away? You may be sad that he gave away your gift (edited:there’s no proof that he gave it away, someone said the picture was from a random instagram and they just put watermark over the picture to make it look like it was a fan gift), but it’s better than letting it rot away somewhere. Let’s be realistic here, he cannot keep all the fangifts. There’s just NO SPACE.

If you’re not happy, stop wasting your money buying gifts! Like I mentioned, they DIDN’T ASK FOR IT.

There’s also people speculating that it’s a conspiracy. Please people, stop speculating.

I don’t see how this news is supposed to cover up Kris news, because they are still receiving so much hate. And no, none of us forget about Kris’s issue.

Besides, there wasn’t even much Kris news to begin with. This has got to be the calmest lawsuit ever. We’re all still waiting, still hurt, still healing. And if you’re saying that Baekhyun has the time to date in times like this – I’m saying, look at what they boy is going through. They lost a member, he was the last one to unfollow Kris – at that point of time, weren’t we all embracing them? Felt sorry for them for going through such pain, yet putting on a smile for us? Aren’t you thankful, at least now, that there was Taeyeon beside him, by his side, helping him?

I’m thankful.

You don’t have to feel the same. You can still feel wronged, or upset or whatever you want to feel, but please have a little bit of respect for yourself, and for him, and not to post nasty comments on his or Taeyeon’s instagram. If you have to vent, do it on your own accounts.

Don’t take away whatever little happiness they can have.

Don’t rob them of the best times in their life.

Don’t expect him to lay out his life for you, in exchange for the money you put in for him.

Don’t leave him a scar that won’t heal.

If you’re telling me about the scar he gave you, the hurt you felt – let’s be logical, he’s not responsible for that. Take a good look at yourself. If it’s an average amount of sadness, it’s normal – but if it’s excessive to the point that you post hate comments and break oreos, please take a good look at what you’ve become. He’s not your object of affection, where you spend hundreds and thousands on him and expect him to entertain you and do what you want. He’s not an object. He’s a normal living human being whose job is just different from us.

And if you’re saying that I’m just saying this because he’s not my bias, you’re wrong. It’s true that Chanyeol is my ultimate bias, but Baek is my bias crasher, he’s always messing up the number 1 spot, and I love him a lot (not in a romantic way, of course), and yes a tiny bit of me is upset that he’s actually dating, but I’m fine as long as he’s happy. Maybe because it’s Taeyeon, so I’m all in full support. If it was some other girl, I may have not given him my blessings, but you won’t see me posting hate comments on their accounts.

So please people?

Don’t do this. Don’t rob their happiness and take away whatever that’s left for them to decide on their own.

Don’t leave them a scar that can’t heal.

Oh and – Let’s not even bring up about that underage drinking thing, or the ‘date when I’m 35 years old’.

What generation are we living now to harp on underage drinking? Yes, it’s wrong and bad – so is he a kid now? No. Is it over? Yes. Then what are you doing? And besides, stop playing innocent and act as though it’s one big sin. Admit it – it’s COMMON.

And when Baekhyun said that he won’t think of dating till 35, he was probably sincere at that point of time. How is he supposed to know that he’s going to date Taeyeon? And unless you keep every single word you spoke since you were born, don’t even think of bringing up this issue. It’s lame -admit it. You don’t know what will happen in the future, and words spoken at any point of time, refers to the emotions and thoughts at that point of time.

For the rest of us, who’s supporting Baekhyun, let’s all stay strong and stay together. For Baekhyun. For Exo. For us.

Money can’t buy you, your idols. Just because you put in a lot of money, time and effort on them, doesn’t make them yours. They’re not an object. Someone said this before, I want my fans to look at us achieving our dream and for them to be motivated to achieve theirs. I don’t want fans to give up their own dreams because of us.

(someone translated this for more info regarding the instagram post, and how it’s not what fans claim.

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